had a bad day again

my graded recitation in relsone was pathetic. i would've gotten the correct answer though, since i knew who richard simon was [the gradfather of catholic exegesis] and what the two-document hypothesis was [that the lucan and matthean gospels are both based on an amalgam of the marcan gospel and a collection of jesus' sayings known as "q"] but it slipped my mind that the the first was the theorist of the second. pakshet.

i got a 73% in the introds deptest, which totally sucks since i pride myself on being good in logical analysis. in consolation, sir bart is giving all of us an extra ten points for some reason, and i may be able to jack my own score up five points if i'm right that sir committed an error in checking my paper.

geric hitched a ride with me home but we got caught in traffic. moral lesson: never travel via service road. ever. not even if the south superhighway is on fire.

i have classes today. kurakot as usual. this totally screws up my plans. now i have no idea how i'm going to rachelle's debut. maybe i can hitch a ride with paco. i can't cut since my first class is encomp2 [enough said] and my last two will be discussions of the compro2 and introds deptests respectively.

life stopped being boring. kris will agree that now it's just crap.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 7:25 AM
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somehow still alive and kicking

by some miracle i managed to bluff my way past both the encomp2 midterm and compro2 deptest. thank god for common sense.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 12:22 AM
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the winner's circle

i lost in both the badminton singles and doubles. nyark. if i were to blame something or someone it would be the rules [briefly: if it's your service and the opponent makes a mistake, it's a point for you; if it's his service and he fouls over, it's just your turn to serve]. so i'm bad at service. to hell with professional badminton.

to hell with relsone as well. i got a 2.0 in the midterm, which is ok i guess, except frytz got a 3.0. No! This cannot be! AAAAAAAAAH!!!

compro2 deptest tonight. this time i really have no idea whether i'll pass or not, but i'm not that worried for some reason. hmm... i don't seem to have a strong subject this term - almost all of them are 2.0 to 2.5 averages but owel that's life. this reminds me of second quarter back in zobel. that was a slump for me too so i should be able to do better next term.

as i mentioned, donna has invited me to another writer's workshop but i don't have any new material to submit and today is the last day, if i'm correct. my other option is the v2.0 of the poem i wrote for mitzi's debut but that's still in need of major retoke.

that reminds me, i believe we have our written midterm in encomp2 today. in an hour and a half actually, so i better head off.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:06 AM
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on the breakwater

instead of going back to robinson's, i stayed a while with jp in g202 then i went to malate. reggie then invited me to go with him, ato, trix, jomic, and yot to manila bay.

i was thinking to write a poem for the next writer's workshop [dan dan dan!] but nothing came to me. instead the experience was mostly bonding, especially with reggie, whose resemblance to jay-em [both physically and personality-wise] is second only to that between the 'new' cloud strife and john rzeznik. i wish i could've recorded the waves crashing on the bay walls though, for future reference.

after some jamming, chicharon with suka, and a lot of walking, we made it back to the malate office where reggie, yot, and i discussed the first few pages of the sandman, book iv. no peteams today, seeing as we already went last saturday, but i'm showing up in shorts nevertheless since tonight is the spo cup's badminton playoffs.

wish me luck.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:23 AM
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tenenenen ten ten tentenen!

jendee complained that my last post was waaay too long so i'll go straight to the point on this one. yesterday morning we had a [mandatory!] class in peteams which would have sucked except that cq [as i affectionately dubbed our prof in said subject] showed up in stripey pants that i'm sure were meant to be baggy. i believe 'dwende' would be the most appropriate word for her look. perhaps she [and i use that term loosely] was celebrating halloween early?

anyway we had arnis which wasn't half bad, except we were to pay p20.- for some lame-ass certificate from the pe department [of course i didn't]. we had the option to leave an hour early [ours was only a two-hour subject] and i left with everyone else although i wanted to stay since it was kinda interesting. instead i played badminton, mostly with frytz and geric.

we crashed at bj's afterwards and did some impromptu swimming in our pe shorts [moral lesson: never again wear boxers on pe days] then it was off to lunch at robinson's place. we ate at chicken inasal bacolod... or was it chicken bacolod inasal? in either case the food was good, although on the pricey side [19 pesos per rice, what a nightmare!].

i got frytz hooked on final fantasy vii hehe. i wanted to start a new game as well, but i'm abstaining until i can upgrade my hardware, so i can play without crappy graphics destroying the experience for me.

chami's guitar is whole again, but the d string sounds very nasal. is that because it's new or did i get ripped off?

err... so this post isn't straight to the point after all... owel that's life.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 6:35 PM
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rude awakenings, poetry, and other ramblings

my dream last night was more freaky than weird. i was a photographer scripting a tense dinner scene and after 30 minutes [dreamtime] of arguing with the character actors, retouching the set, and travelling by bus [i don't get this either], all that was left was to actually take the blasted picture. then the guy playing the father-figure pointed out that the christ on the crucifix above their heads was dancing. when i turned to look, the dancing christ jumped me.

that was almost as bad as yesterday, when my left hand went numb in my sleep so that when i woke up, i smacked myself in the eye with it. or the day before, when i fell asleep on the sofa and dreamt that i was lying on the sofa and suddenly my lower left front tooth chipped off. you should have seen me running to the nearest mirror, thinking how in the world i would explain my 'new look' to my parents.

moving on to more pleasant things, i have recently discovered the poetry of jalaluddin rumi [samples below] through a documentary of the work of coleman barks, rumi's number one fan. how hooked? he set all rumi's poetry to music. now that's dedicated.

i haven't gotten my paws [pun intended] on angela carter's the bloody chamber as of yet, but in case any of you have that gem at home and haven't gotten around to reading it, i suggest you do. then i suggest you gift it to me.

this is a screenshot from square enix's new 'film' final fantasy: advent children. yes, that is cloud from final fantasy vii and yes he looks extremely fruity. somehow i never noticed that he wears a sleeveless turtleneck before. but regardless of the new and unfortunate character design i am looking somewhat forward to knowing more about the project. vii just happens to be the yet unparalleled best title in the series [discounting graphics, of course].

frytz is serious about developing an s15 vs profs fighting|rpg game. we [minus jerwin obviously] stayed up until 10.30 last night just talking about combos and cheating and sprites [oh my!]. well i have to admit it would be a good use of my time and lately lax creativity, as well as potentially profitable.

it looks like i'll be bringing my sketchbook to school from now on.

sige ingat.ü

---

ps: a sampling of rumi's poetry [or two or 12]

do you know what i'm doing?
that for one breath or half-breath i belong to myself?
as much as a pen knows what it's writing,
or the ball can guess where it's going next.

come to the orchid in spring.
there is light and wine,
and sweethearts in the pomegranate flowers.
if you do not come,
these do not matter.
if you do come,
these do not matter.

who comes to a spring thirsty and sees the moon reflected in it?

when i am with you,
we stay up all night.
when you're not here,
i can't go to sleep.
praise god for these two insomnias!
and the difference between them.

i want to be where your bare foot walks,
because maybe before you step,
you'll look at the ground.
i want that blessing.

on resurrection day your body testifies against you.
your hand says, "i stole money."
your lips, "i said meanness."
your feet, "i went where i shouldn't."
your genitals, "me too."

the mystic dances in the sun,
hearing music others don't.
"insanity," they say, those others.
if so, it's a very gentle,
nourishing sort.

i have lived on the lip of insanity,
wanting to know reasons.
knocking on a door, it opens,
i have been knocking from the inside!

i would love to kiss you.
the price of kissing is my life.
now my loving is running toward my life shouting,
"what a bargain, let's buy it."

you've seen a herd of goats going down to the water.
The lame and dreamy goat brings up the rear.
there are worried faces about that one,
but now they're laughing, because look,
as they return, that goat is leading!
there are many different kinds of knowing.
the lame goat's kind is a branch
that traces back to the roots of presence.
learn from the lame goat,
and lead the herd home.

i, you, he, she, we.
in the garden of mystic lovers,
these are not true distinctions. 
posted by stani at 8:41 AM
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the first rule of moutain climbing? there's always one more

the case study is over and done with [thank god] although i didn't have time to debug it completely. since the labs were overflowing with crammers like ourselves, we opted instead to telnet and ftp our way through the last few bugs. in fairness [dan dan dan!] only one other group actually finished the case study, so the fact that we had something to submit was an achievement in itself. gilderoy gave us a quiz that nobody was able to finish [yes, not even frytz razal, boy kwatro!] so to hell with him.

i still have no d-string to resurrect chami's recently deceased guitar. i'm thinking to ask sir bart where he buys his strings and follow in his footsteps. otherwise i saw some good strings in harrison plaza. pricey, but good.

our midterm in relsone is at 1pm. i hope i don't fail too badly.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 3:36 AM
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tin-da-han ni a-a-li-ing ne-e-na

just got home from geric's. of course we didn't finish the case study; i'm surprised we even started. we did watch american wedding, though. i didn't enjoy it as much as the others, perhaps owing to the fact that i haven't yet watched the first two installments.

yes, i am again suffering from colds. my new hypothesis is that geric's house is a breeding ground for exotic viruses to which only i am susceptible. the good news is that without my voice i can't possibly have my encomp2 retest today.

sir bart is my new guitar god. my new mission in life is to learn tindahan ni aling nena by heart [stupid-ass d7/f#]. but i really do want to turn out a slacker genius like him. or kakashi.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:30 AM
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it's a beautiful day [hey!]

i got a 3.0 for my midterm! i was 30 minutes late for encomp2 and just as i entered the room, my number was called so i muddled my way through my speech [ad lib-ed, more like it], and still pulled off a relatively high score. thank you, debate training! actually i should've gotten a 3.5 but since i had no visuals, ms soriano was forced to deduct a 0.5. the kicker is that she wants me to repeat my speech and if the visuals are good, she'll jack up my grade. ah, it's all good.

lss today! donna cancelled our poetry meeting so i'm going straight to pcj, then of course to geric's to finish our case study. hmm... from filipi1 experience, we probably won't but i expect as much.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:11 AM
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t minus 1.33hrs

my midterm in encomp2 is today. wish me luck, although i think 'miracle' would be closer to what i actually need.

i now get a 403 [access forbidden] error whenever i go to friendster using my dlsu internet account. it took them long enough. anyway, a little more effort and maybe one or two more downloads on my part and i'll be back in business in no time.

the d-string on chami's guitar is, for lack of a better term, laspag na. i'll probably buy a set from harrison plaza [where she bought it] this weekend, if i can find the time.

lss is this weekend but i don't know if i can fasci because malate has a film showing tomorrow morning and i have to show my face because i haven't for the past week. then of course there's the case study for compro2 due on wednesday. since we decided to work at geric's, i can probably just meet up with them later, provided lss finishes by 5 or 6pm.

hmm... a lot of other things happened between my last post and today but they really aren't that fascinating to begin with so i won't post them here. not that i couldn't make them fascinating if i wanted to.

sige ingat.ü

---

ps: quotable quotes:

i. while divining romantic compatibility using a king, queen, and two aces

self: si frytz at si geric para laughtrip. hmm... teka sino 'yung queen?
frytz: ha? ako.
self: !

ii. after noticing that jp's counter-strike handle was 'pek^2 mong mabaho'

self: ba't kaya mahilig si jp sa mabahong pek^2?
jerwin: may girlfriend na s'ya e.
self: ! 
posted by stani at 9:10 AM
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prequels and sequels

this post will be a collection of events and thoughts from the past week that i've somehow forgotten to post before today.

i. nice to meet you... i think

i was eating at plato last thursday and i brought along chami's guitar for malate night [which was as usual cancelled, but that's another story]. while i was eating, some guy from the next table over approached me, introduced himself as adrian and asked to borrow the guitar.

i was too surprised to refuse, so it was with him while i was eating [carbonara, which took a full 20 minutes to reach me from the time i paid] and he wasn't half bad either. he actually wanted me to play at first so i thought he was a beginner or something [which just goes to show how big my head has gotten] but luckily i was able to beg off.

the punchline was when he returned the guitar, got behind the counter, and started taking orders. next time you patronize plato you can say hi to him for me. frytz doesn't like it there though - his iced tea was served to him con langaw.

ii. hot and spicy

i highly recommend argentina hot and spicy corned beef to those of you with a taste for serious spice. i sampled some at martin's last night, and i can still feel the tabasco churning in my gut. wicked.

iii. magkayakap sa ilalim ng buwan... ilalim ng buwan... haa...

since i travel home with my dad now, i haven't had the chance to stare at the midnight moon for some time now, but i got that chance again yesterday, walking home from the ushering fiasco [see previous post]. for some time now i've wanted to submit a story or poem to malate incorporating that, but given my edit record, i'd be better off sneaking in a photo. if anyone wants to beat me to the punch, i was planning to frame the moon in electrical wires.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 12:42 PM
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owel shit happens

of course i crapped out on my vtr by talking too fast. owel shit happens. of course i got caught in traffic on the way home regardless of the fact that i paid four extra pesos to travel by skyway. owel shit happens. of course bau inadvertently tricked me into wearing longsleeves, slacks, and leather shoes, while everyone else was in casual. owel shit happens. of course traveling to the church i again got caught in traffic and showed up an hour and a half late and sweating like a dying horse. owel shit happens. of course the talk was moved back one hour so all my rushing and running around and the 20+ texts i sent bau to double-, triple-, and quadruple-check were a big waste of time, effort, and money. owel shit happens. of course jendee was ushering as well and we got to talking.

sometimes good shit happens too.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:36 AM
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the vampire strikes back

she moved up my vtr to today. i know i stated earlier that she cancelled on me, but last wednesday she said "we will finish the remaining vtr's today" so i was all jittery because i had already half-forgotten my lines and didn't bring hardcopy but we ran out of time so [like i said] it's today. which actually makes little difference because i still haven't practiced... but this time i have hardcopy, ha! i'm less antagonistic towards her now because she's starting to be nice to us. like for example she moved down the midterms to next wednesday [from today, actually]. weird.

bau invited me to usher at some church on sucat road which frankly is quite a hassle but i'm going to go anyway since i miss the company [it's an fbb event].

for the past half hour, the neighbors have been playing an otherworldly muzak rendition of frosty the snowman. merry christmas?

sige ingat.ü

---

ps: "no, i don't eat meat... i'm not a carnival!"
- the great and powerful melanie marquez 
posted by stani at 7:00 AM
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take me out of the ball game

i was naturally late again for peteams, bringing my attendance score down to a 2.5. attendance was supposed to be how i would pass the subject in the first place. luckily softball isn't as hard as it looks: i got a 3.0 in the pitching|catching test. the best part was of course when i hit harley in the forehead with a softball [he now has a bruise in the shape of stitching running down his right forehead] and the worst was having to shower without a shower. it turns out that after 10am they close the valves leading up to the showers, so i had to bathe using the tap, and that too with only a trickle of water. i spent the whole day smelling overwhelmingly of soap. wait... dear god i still smell like soap. argh.

chino dropped by dlsu together with yanna, mae, and ate karen. i cut twenty minutes from relsone to hang with them. didn't miss anything though. well i missed ten minutes of rev canlas' bullshit, but who needs that?

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 5:47 AM
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interview with a vampire

once again ms soriano used her powers of making absolutely no sense to befuddle, annoy, and otherwise break down the mental capacities of s11 encomp2 students. she made us all come to school today in formal wear for a vtr [video tape recording] of the "good speech" speech [see below] but when we ran out of time she simply cancelled the rest of the vtr's, mine included. how the hell am i supposed to get a decent grade in her subject if she keeps cancelling on me!?

i was playing sungka with miko in the malate office, and our scores tied. twice in a row. ok, once is aliw, twice is just twilight zone material.

sige ingat.ü

---

ps: review of related literature:

i. the "good speech" speech

i am good speech. man's use of me is no small and inconsistent matter. of me, great confucius said "what man requires to administer in a government is that in his words there be nothing incorrect" thinking of me, mentor graham, teacher of immortal lincoln, charged his pupil never to forget that "the right words will guide the world".

ceasar built an empire on my foundation and shakespeare, a tempest. it is i who define law, justice, politics, government. italy is well-versed in my ways - e non se vero, e ben trovato. roughly translated: the relevance of my truth matters not; only that i am well conceived. i am feared by many, misunderstood by more, yet he who takes to me will never go unheard, or unfollowed for that matter. it is my raiment that trains people's eyes on the speaker; my song that rallies them close; my wings that give him flight. it is i who choose who will flirt with immortality. i am good speech and this is my blessing - that he who captures the lion's roar is king of the jungle.

[you'd think that since i wrote the second paragraph myself, i'd have known it by heart, but of course i forgot the better half of it during my actual presentation. pakshet]

ii. gems from the malate logbook

a. haiku for the victims of the elevator incident in sps building [sic]

bodies falling flat
on their faces: they are now
dead as rusty nails.

b. haiku for the writer of the haiku

pangit ang tula.
gago ka talaga... ha!
putang ina ka.

[don't you just love freedom of expression?] 
posted by stani at 2:14 AM
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killer weekend [no pun intended]

again, my life has taken a turn for the surreal. i went to school last saturday [late as usual for the poetry section meeting] and the primary thing on my mind was how badly donna was going to flay the skin off my back for not doing my poetry homework [research three filipino poets and try to imitate the style of one in your future submissions]. turns out it wasn't needed so after the meeting, those of us still at the office were in a pretty good mood, until a fellow malatean [who shall remain nameless in this post] came in, quietly informing us that a fatal accident had occured that morning and the victim was her best friend.

i felt bad for her but since i was still riding my own high, i couldn't sympathize with her much [yes i am the most apathetic person on the planet, so sue me] so pb and i started talking about love lives instead, to change the topic. or rather, he started talking and i just nodded politely [sob]. we all parted ways around 5pm.

kris offered me a ride to town and even though that was kinda out of my way the company [kris, mj, joe, and saul] wasn't half bad so i went with them. the events earlier in the day got me thinking about mortality [yes i know this is cheesy but bear with me it gets better later] and what i'd do if a person close to me died. aside from discovering that i can count on two hands the people who i'd really mourn if the worst should happen [knock on wood], i figured that speaking at their funerals would be my best course of action. don't ask me to play the guitar thought - i said elegy, not comedy.

father dave visited us last night and brought these really addictive brownies. they reminded me of really really moist rum cake, and had a hint of walnut. he also recommended to us mel gibson's the passion. for those of you not in the know, it's a movie about jesus' last 12 hours, in arameic and latin with [as far as i know] no subtitles, so it's more on emotion than plot or dialogue. he said nobody who's watched it has come out of the moviehouse with dry eyes.

do i smell a challenge?

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:32 AM
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the twilight zone

i had a weird dream last night:

i dreamt that i went to new york for some reason and somehow lost chami's guitar there. my response was to start stealing other people's guitars left and right in the hope that one of them would be hers. the strange thing was that some of the guitars were actually cpu casings, with p3 processors and motherboards inside. anyway to cut to the chase, i found chami's guitar by buying it back from rev canlas, who was a travelling guitar salesman, for P2,000.- cash and the six or seven other guitars that i stole.

perhaps this had something to do with the overdose of nitrous oxide i inhaled at the malate office last night [although malate night was cancelled, krystle, leslie, yot, pb, and i hung out there until around 8].

but then again, perhaps not.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:49 AM
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dagadag... dagadag dagadag... go la salle!

congratulations to ateneo for winning the game yesterday. the least i can say is that it was fair [forgiving of course the usual extreme number of fouls], and certain blue eagles soaring into the crowds was amusing to some extent.

frytz, geric, bj, and i had our usual round of counter-strike [bad game, don't ask] before having our usual midnight jam session outside mcdo. this time we decided to do opm covers with lyrics based on our profs. that promises to be fun, once i can find the time to sit down and actually write my share.

sige ingat.ü

---

ps: go la salle! 
posted by stani at 8:16 AM
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