dementia

according to what i read last week on an on-campus information board, one of the symptoms of alzheimer's is leaving objects in odd places, such as keys in an ashtray or coins in the fruit bowl. i mentioned this to my family, seeing as how they had caught me 'returning' a water jug to the stovetop, and recounted how i once put an empty kettle into the ref.

turns out my sister once poured water she heated for her bath into the toilet.

oh.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 11:14 PM
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ok, college sucks starting... now

the last time i posted an entry with the above title, the first paragraph read:

i got a 69% in the second compro1 deptest. that's a 1.0. 1.5 if i kiss ms nats' ass from here to whatever planet she came from. plus, we have a deptest in basicon this saturday. sure i got a 4.0 in the last test but that was a fluke if there ever was one. i reiterate, college sucks.

how naïve of me. if only life were that simple again. as for comorga, i would kill for a 69%.

i reiterate, college sucks.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 7:10 AM
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kitchie nadal wtf!?

someone im'd me last night. the conversation proved to be rather interesting. let's call her 'kitchiehunter' for privacy's sake:

kitchiehunter: hi...alam ko me kabobohan tong tanong ko? i just want 2 kno if you are kitchie nadal? if you are, is it ok 2 ask for ur contact numbers? by the way i am [name withheld] i am working for an events group and we are hoping to get you for our christmas event in laguna. my contact number is [number withheld]. hope to hear from you soon. thanks.
self: sorry you've got the wrong guy. pero kaibigan sya ng ate ng kaibigan ko (siryoso 'to) so i could probably link you up anyway. no promises, though.
kitchiehunter: thanks.
self: what made you think i was kitchie nadal?
kitchiehunter: sori your website kasi came in while searching for him. niways m really hoping to get his contacts.
self: first of all, babae si kitchi nadal. :D
kitchiehunter: omg!!!

and so on and so forth. i eventually hooked her up through saul. to 'kitchiehunter': if you're reading this, sorry but i couldn't resist posting - it's not everyday someone mistakes you for a musician of the opposite sex.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:03 PM
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kabalarianism

Although the name Arun creates the urge to be both logical and technical, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination and nervous system.

Your name of Arun has created the desire to focus on the details of your immediate interests to the extent that others consider you to be fussy. You are attracted to, and could excel in, the mechanical or technical fields, such as computers. Instead of establishing the system and order you would like, you are over-particular in some things that matter to you personally but lax and indulgent in other ways. You place great importance on whatever you happen to be interested in, and can be quite thorough and detailed in what you are doing, but find it difficult to be consistent.

pretty accurate, actually. but then again, i could type in someone else's name and i'd still get a result i could attribute to myself. man is too much of a social being to develop a thoroughly unique personality. as for the health weaknesses, i also have a history of pulmonary problems but those weren't mentioned. plus, nowadays everybody's nervous system is out of whack. the high cost of living, as it were.

you can take the test here.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 6:21 PM
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inequalities

am blogging from g301. sir levi's trying to discuss servlets [whatever the hell those are] but there isn't anyone who isn't multitasking. in this scenario, the phrase "if he were any good, they would listen" doesn't apply. the internet is greater than any teacher.

so what've i been up to? i'm playing at the ccs acoustic night, the pasicatchan, and livewire as part of dai mayuge, at the least. i've got urbandub's sailing down pat and i'll probably have widowed out the basslines to sponge cola's partisan and imago's otherwise by saturday. renz, kimber, and myself will hopefully have wrapped up our original composition [for the pasicatchan] by next week. in other words, academics are less than the band.

not to say that i've been slacking off. alright, so i have. but i've had luck so far, or at least i think so. i'm refering of course to the introse test, which featured questions such as "if functional programming is based on functions, object-based programming is based on _______". paraphrased, but you get the picture. i wouldn't be surprised if i aced it, but i wouldn't be surprised if i failed it either.

good thing, then, that i wasted no time studying and instead had my story edited by aleck [who had replaced jomic as editor]. i really should've joined the prose staff from the start, except that i hadn't written anything prior to entering malate, and i had a lot of old poems lying around. in any case, both aleck and jomic liked the story so there's a good chance i'll be published this term, unless the opinions of the malate advisors are not equal to the opinions of the editorial board.

meanwhile, kimber's in trouble. this is why you should never type out full names when you bash people online. my apologies if it isn't the top entry - i couldn't access the url of the post itself. this time i can't say who is greater than who.

let's see how it plays out.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 11:31 AM
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insultmonger.com

i. afrikaans

ek wens jou vingers verander in vishoeke, en jou balle begin te jeuk!
"i hope your fingers turn into fishhooks and your balls start to itch!"

ii. arabic

airi fe sabahak!
"my dick on your forehead!"

iii. cantonese

tai ju ah! mm hai o jow got lei go bau!
"watch it or i'll circumsize you!"

iv. french

je te pisse en zig-zags au raie de cul!
"i piss in zig-zags on your ass-crack!"

v. german

teletubi zurück winker!
"someone who waves back at the teletubbies!"

vi. hindi

hazaar lund teri gaand main!
"a thousand dicks up your ass!"

vii. korean

hu jup!
"stupid beginner!"

viii. latin

te odeo, interfice te cochleare!
"i hate you, go kill yourself with a spoon!"

ix. norwegian

vess du fan ikke kan oppfør dæ årntli så ska æ stapp høue ditt opp i ræva di så kan du sett dær, aleina i mørtna, å prat mannskit me dæ sjøl!
"if you can't fucking behave properly, i'll stuff your head up your ass so you can sit there, alone in the darkness, and talk shit to yourself!"

x. tagalog

sumibak ka na lang ng kalabasa!
"go fuck a pumpkin!"

tatlo ba ang betlog mo!?
"do you have three testicles!?"

isasaksak ko 'tong bote ng grande sa wetpacks mo!
"i'm going to stick this huge beer bottle up your ass!"

somehow they seem funnier in print.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 9:43 PM
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partisan

[par•ti•san] n.

1. an ardent and entusiastic supporter of some person or idea.
    i am partisan against the vocal capabilities of yael yuzon.

2. a pike with a long tapering double-edged blade and accompanying lateral projections.
    what? he's started singing again!? quick, run me through with a partisan!

how fortunate for me that the first sponge cola original composition i heard encompasses both meanings. they didn't play it today though, when they 'graced' the ampi with their prescence. but i really should start from the top.

severo played first, and the only thing noteworthy about their set was that if indeed their vocalist's name is conrad, then he must be the conrad that eugene [one of the many victims of the one salcedo scandal] was trying so hard to emulate. at first i thought he was failing miserably, but after seeing severo live, he turned out to be doing a great job after all.

edit: enzo marcos is the frontman of severo, not conrad, who is instead the vocalist of boy elroy.

conrad enzo theory number one: conrad enzo has over the years collected a number of videos featuring the various dances and wild gesticulations popularized by lead singers of famous bands [i.e., axl rose, ian tayao, and of course, bamboo mañalac], which he remixes to create his own award-winning choreography.

conrad enzo theory number two: in his excitement, conrad enzo accidentally shit his pants, which would explain both the 'conrad enzo walk' [trademarked] and that tena-esque bulge across his posterior.

after severo was a 'fashion show' featuring one pair of victims from each engineering specialization. mech eng's supposedly male representative [in pigtails, labgown, necktie, and boxers] was the clear winner, imho at least.

sponge cola played lunes first. it didn't sound as bad as i thought it might. maybe my ideas about yael's lack of competency are really just only in my head.

but i doubt it.

yael theory number one: they can't kick him out because he either started the band or is songwriter.

yael theory number two: they can't kick him out because he plays at least both guitar and drums.

either way, they can't kick him out.

that's sad.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 9:55 PM
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"drink, drink 'til we die!"

i planned to update last sunday afternoon, but my sister insisted on finishing her project on the travels of rizal. naturally, her groupmates forgot to reserve the laptop, forcing their teacher to move their presentation down to tomorrow, i think.

geez, i could've told her that would happen.

well, anyway:

i. five-six

yot made special mention for everybody to avoid black and maong since her debut was spring-themed. naturally i decided that the best way to break both mores with one getup was to go as a dance instructor in a gunmetal top and baston jeans. searching through my dad's closet, however, i discovered that he didn't have any such shirts, although he did have a number of horizontally-striped ones. i then selected an extremely tacky, guaranteed-never-to-be-in-fashion, semitransparent polo with stripes in mauve and salmon, and voila, the only things missing were the scooter and accent [which pb maintains i will never master].

ii. takaw-mata

dinner started and i piled my plate high, as usual. i had dipped my dinner roll in the soup they had served as an appetizer and was literally about to bite into it when the debut directrix announced for the 18 roses to make their way to the stage. i was the 16th. i still had a clear view of my plates [notice here the pluralization] from my place in line. the roll was slowly sinking into the soup. needless to say, i poiselessly ran back to my seat the moment my turn was up.

reggie and jomic won a bottle of wine apiece. you know that saying that when you want something bad enough, the world conspires with you to get it? that happens to malateans when alcohol's involved.

iii. silver and gold

actually the gold came first: yot had a few rounds of fireworks fired before the dance floor and bar were opened. that's the advantage of outdoor events. of course there's the threat of rain, but i for one think that a light drizzle adds to ambience, especially if it's a candlelit affair. well, so long as the rain doesn't put out the candles, anyway.

silver, on the other hand, was the name of the showband hired for the debut. they were off to a shaky start, with evanescence's bring me to life and some song by linkin prak, the title of which i did not care to remember. the only noteworthy detail about the first song was that the bassist, a bear of a man, provided a falsetto second voice for the chorus. as for the second song, let's just say it was amusing to watch three-fourths of malate stampede to the bar the moment its composers became evident, as well as to hear a collective "oh god, no!" when silver announced that they'd be doing three sets that night.

but they turned out ok, since they had prepared songs from every decade from the 60s onwards. elvis doesn't sound so bad unplugged, really. kat even took hold of a spare mic at one point. she later told me that silver's [dare i say it?] hot lead vocalist was turning 30 the next friday. i never would have guessed. going back, i danced with dandi, mostly [ha, i told you i was a competent dancer!].

iv. a series of unfortunate events

it was around this time that a certain malatean [let us refer to him as 'virginia'] decided to drink himself into a stupor. the good news is that that didn't happen. the bad news is that he drank himself into a frenzy instead. long story short, five of us had to bodily carry him out of the venue and bundle him into miko's car, which would then transport chris, pearl, the rabid virginia, and myself to the nearest sogo or anito hotel. the first motel we came to [a sogo, i believe] was full up, so miko's parents volunteered to have us stay over instead. so from intramuros [where the debut had been held], we were soon on our way to quezon city, locale of

v. casa gomez

by far the most interesting aspect of the impromptu overnighter* was miko's younger sister, maika. she possessed an all-too-familiar bored teenage american accent, and miko soon confirmed my suspicions that she was indeed a povedan. a sophomore at that. and an acquaintance of trish and carmen. "small world" just doesn't cut it anymore.

and yet a honorable mention had to go to virginia himself, who despite being out cold for a prior hour still managed to regain enough consciousness to mumble something to the effect of "get your hands off my cujones" when chris and i attempted to separate him from his slacks.

vi. haller!?

rogi got word this afternoon that we [kimber, renz, loyvin, rogi, and myself] were chosen to represent our batch in the band portion of the pasicatchan. if this is indeed true then i guess we have to finalize our band name. how does "dai mayuge" sound to you? it means "bushy eyebrows" in japanese.

sige ingat.ü

---

overnighter: the males of the species will inevitably use this word to refer to any overnight event; females will instead use the term "sleepover". at least we guys are honest about no actual sleep taking place. 
posted by stani at 11:59 PM
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war veteran

just got home from jonat's. thanks to bau for providing transportation. we actually did absolutely nothing, but it was good to see zobelian faces again [even if i knew less than half the names]. birthday greetings to dux, jewel, julie, ricca, and yot!

i. bombing run

we got 110% for our webdeve project. not bad, considering that i only really coded it the night before [the previous two nights don't count, since technically i busied myself more with crimsonland than with the javascripting]. i reached 3023 lines, which made me think that we should've gotten more than just 10 extra poinst for my efforts. it's either that sir levi deducted a ton of points since paco and i were too busy playing the game to listen to and properly answer his questions, or that he really is a tightwad. i'm leaning towards the second.

ii. kamikaze

the auditions were horrible. the bass amp fouled out midway through maskara, which only added insult to injury, since we screwed up after the guitar solo anyway. on one hand, i heard that we got in anyway; on the other, that we merited the lowest score from the judges. not that i particularly care, since i [we, actually] have a contingency plan for either case. it's the finality i'm really after.

iii. shellshock

i got a 60.5 in the comorga exam. that sucks big time. hopefully i'll be able to make up for that failure in the next departmentals. since i used up my free failure on anmath2 [a waste, actually], this time i really can't afford to fail. argh.

iv. covert ops

while crossing taft avenue, paco stumbled upon an empty box of "n & n milk chocolate kendi". only in the philippines, my friend.

v. blitzkrieg

dux celebrated his birthday with dinner at saisaki. needless to say, chudor, pogz, paco, and myself stuffed ourselves to the gills. i didn't take any rice [then again, i had a lot of sushi] but i had three bowls of soup, so before long i was past dessert and doing the breed of strange things that usually only occur within the confines of either the duxmobile or casa calalec. for myself at least, a sugar high hits worse than a drug high. pogz has some pictures, i think. he'll probably use them to blackmail me at some future point, but then again, i also have my own arsenal, albeit undocumented.

vi. massacre

i heard that sponge cola played at dlsu while we were out. i'll catch them on wednesday, if ever. but seriously, they really should find another vocalist. yael writes good songs [if it is indeed him], but he can't sing to save his life. he does a pretty accurate impression of kris aquino, though.

vii. counter-strike

self: ayun best friend mo, si dane.
rogi: best friend? 'di ako bitter e.

aray. barado ako do'n a.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:41 AM
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martir

e ano naman kung mababaw lang?

kung sunod-sunod din naman tisod mo, lunod ka pa rin. 
posted by stani at 7:49 PM
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aftershocks

the following events actually took place between thursday and saturday last week. i did not post them immediately since i wanted the following topic to be illustrated:

i. going straight

thursday, kimber convinced me to let her straighten out my hair since lod* had his relaxed. being the adventurous sort, i obliged her, and even went so far as to wear the same look the next day at mica's birthday celebration, which called for me to "wear something unusual". needless to say, i was one of the more unusual people there, but reggie was hands down most unusual, thanks to his toast, "sana balang araw, maging mas maganda ka kaysa sa 'kin."

ii. kinarir ng comorga

"half-adders? 'wag na! wala namang ganyan sa reviewer so hindi s'ya itatanong."

pakshet.

iii. tremors

i was the only one standing when the first wave hit, and must have said something when it did, since nearby people turned to look at me. they must've thought i'd been drinking and suddenly lost my balance as a consequence. luckily for me, the second and third waves hit soon after so it wasn't that awkward after all. vince even texted me to inquire what i was doing when the quake hit [it was probably stronger down south]. strange how people are so fascinated by their doing mundane things when world-changing events happen.

iv. videoke kings

mica had arranged for a videoke machine to be brought in again, but it broke down so we parted ways earlier than expected, around 1am. reggie, cara and jomic invited themselves over so we walked home [from the big fella bar and grill on doña soledad avenue, better living]. the rain picked up as we traveled instead of weakening, as we had hoped. in response, reggie and i started singing songs such as rivermaya's ulan and the eraserheads' tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka. ironically enough, the rain abated with our singing. beat that, mariah.

v. the great hunt

since reggie knows his way around marcelo [he has friends here; but then again, doesn't everybody?], he proposed that we leave cara and jomic behind and have them locate my house on their own, giving them only my house number as a clue. this having been agreed upon, we hid behind a parked van and waited for them [ube-ing as usual] to pass us before cutting into a side street and working our way home from there.

around ten minutes after we had arrived, jomic texted for me to go pick them up at the commercial complex. i gave him my street name as an additional clue instead. he then replied for me to stop laughing and start walking. i should've taken this as a clue since when i opened the front door they were sitting on our front porch. turns out they saw us cut into the side street and once they identified our house, they simply waited a while before messaging. the prey that hunts the hunter is always one step ahead of him.

in any case, reggie and i stayed up until around six, when i saw him off at the 7-11, from where he was picked up by his friend conrado tabuena [of the marcelo tabuenas, who were once on my sister's "to do" list]. cara meanwhile slept with jomic. iww.

vi. in dreams

renz has been getting some strange ideas lately.

he worries me sometimes.

sige ingat.ü

---

lod: a cse student who resembles me, such that professors often confuse one of us for the other. since he's also friends with kimber, she constantly arranges for us to 'face off' in gox. 
posted by stani at 11:41 AM
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system restore

my pc's back to normal. luckily, i found a recent enough save point. i had to reinstall firefox [which i'll continue using as my default browser] and crimsonland, but that's about it. near as i can tell, my browser was hijacked by an applet designed to dial me up to some godforsaken server. probably a porn site, now that i think about it.

porn sucks.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 12:37 AM
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hassles

the comorga test was cancelled again and moved to friday. ironic, really, since it was supposed to be this friday anyway. the good news is that i have more time to fully comprehend the topics and make it good in the test. the bad news is that we had to withdraw from playing intermission at the escs meeting, which is also this friday. actually, i'd prefer that we take the test tomorrow, while the review we had today is still fresh in our minds, but what i prefer doesn't really count for much, does it?

my dad bought a dvd copy of fahrenheit 9/11. if i'm going to take all the 'evidence' presented in the film as gospel truth, then bush really is one giant asshole. he's obviously a rich man's president so what michael moore revealed wasn't really that surprising. what was surprising was how long he was able to stay on top given his intelligence and tendency to foul up on a regular basis. he can't even say "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" without messing up, for god's sake. it came out as "fool me once, shame... shame on... you... fool me... can't get fooled again." believe me when i say bush is a moron - until he came along, *our* president was number one in incompetence. trust america to one-up us yet again.

my pc acts up whenver i connect to the net. i switched back to firefox, which seems to be helping, although logging out still takes a full five minutes. the fact that my antivirus terminates whenever i mouseover only gives me more reason to reformat, or at least reinstall both internet explorer and norton.

xp sucks.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 10:55 PM
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one salcedo scandal

i. carinderia

among the stalls inside the ayala mrt station is a carinderia. ang astig. i would've stopped for a bite but i was already late for my

ii. tutoring

i had to write a 'poem' as part of gi bum's [the kid i'm tutoring's] homework in chemistry:

Argon is very shy
It likes to hide from you and I
It has no color, taste, or smell
Even if it's always in the air.

It doesn't mix with any other
And took a long time to discover
It's hard to make it liquid,
Only gas or solid.

Argon is maybe very sad
Because being shy is sometimes bad.

see, this is why i got kicked out of malate's poetry section. but seriously, i don't see any logical connection between chemistry and creative writing. if i.s. is trying to increase the students' interest in the hard sciences, they're definitely going about it the wrong way. anyway after that, paco and i headed to one salcedo, where

iii. everyone was fucked

as jorel puts so eloquently. trish invited me through paco to a supposed soiree between povedans and southridgids [a little zobel humor there] which a) was not school-sanctioned and b) was to be held at one salcedo place.

disregarding the alarm bells in my head, i went, if only to accompany paco. the program was bad and the bands were worse so trish decided [through joey] to finance a couple of pitchers of lalabu from the local 7-11 [also known as the land of the rising sun, due to its overpowering array of fluorescent lights], which were quickly distributed among the hapless minors. hey, if they're immature enough to drink alcohol to look cool, i say give them what they want and see how 'cool' they look after a cup or five. one guy [that gay emo guy, trish] didn't even make it past two. tss. i was even able to stop a fight by giving both parties a cup and ordering them to toast their friendship with each other. they did, making me a hero and them pathetic.

going back to the bands, i only heard one complete set, that of tustado. they really were bad, but it was their first time so technically they did ok. the best part was when right after i quipped to paco [after their massacring of urbandub's soul searching] that if they played two trick pony i'd walk out, they actually did. i even called renz up to share with him the 'good news'. ok, so that was mean. funny as hell though. but to be fair, out of all the people i met, it's only tustado's guitarist, paolo [who happens to be mikey's cousin], and vocalist, don, who i wouldn't mind meeting again. good men, both of them.

no wait, on second thought, the best part was when some retard started hitting on carmen. i was so inspired that on the spot i was able to compose

iv. action song number three (mike test)

F-A#.G#.A#.F-G#.F-A#.G#.A#.F-G#.

F      A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
tactics
F          A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
übertactics
F          A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
megatactics
F          A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
gigatactics
F          A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
teratactics

A#-G#.A#-G#.A#-G#.A#-

                G#.F      A#.G#.A#.F-G#.
"i think you're so pretty"
F      A#.G#.A#.
tactics

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 2:36 AM
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postscripts on my palmtop

i. kajomican

theory number one: dinosaurs are extinct because an unusually intelligent early hominid predicted that fossil fuels would one day be in high demand, and in accordance with this, he single-handedly killed off all dinosaurs.

theory number two: dinosaurs are extinct because they anticipated theory number one, and committed suicide en masse.

ii. introso

it has come to my attention that ms arcinas [i finally found out her name, via the dlsu faculty page] resembles camryn manheim [of the practice fame] more than queen latifah. and that rogi and i actually passed the first quiz since 60% of 40 is 24, not 26.

iii. hail, hail, alma mater

the archers managed to secure their victory via a last-minute three-pointer by jv casio and two free throws by mac-mac cardonna, which weren't reciprocated by feu's denok miranda. the primary good that came out of this was that our comorga exam was moved to monday, or possibly tuesday since miko tells me that cse students already have a test scheduled for monday. i hope it's comorga that is moved down. to my surprise, korinah rebustes was picked as cinderella's face of the game. and yet, stranger things have happened.

iv. casa carriaga

the significance of the conversation is inversely proportional to the number of those in attendance. the alcohol content of a drink is directly proportional to its taste. reggie slept with cara. iww.

v. casa calalec

i have once again succeeded in presenting an action song such that it's taken seriously by the band. renz and jp will agree that kimber is german. rogi, if he knows what's good for him, will remain silent.

vi. beep beep beep beep

the first blogworthy jeepney was the all-black metallica jeepney that paco and i saw barreling down taft avenue yesterday morning. it even had spray-painted portraits of the band members along its sides. the only thing missing was the riff from enter sandman.

the second was the jeep i got into at bicutan. not only was it turning in at marcelo, but at phase nine as well. in short, i got off at my front door.

me being me, luck has nothing to do with it.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 9:49 PM
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