misery loves

i. company

i had arranged to meet up with mari and gio after classes yesterday for a sort of "welcome to college" baptism by alcohol. chudor and pogz asked to tag along for lack of a better thing to do. i okayed their request, but was admittedly wary, since rarely do people from my different circles mix well together.

my fears soon proved conquered by a keg of beer, a plate of sisig, and common southern upbringing. interesting though, how suddenly willing chudor and pogz were to volunteer their sordid pasts to then-strangers. i hope they don't seriously expect me to follow through with an en masse birthday celebration. beer-all-you-can for a hundred people is way beyond my financial capacity.

ii. alcohol

after the first round of drinks, chudor, pogz, and i met up with vince and headed off to bj's for maki's birthday bash. we left upon realizing that chris "laglagan blues" castillo had spiked the drinks with green cross 70% isopropyl.

i enjoy a drink as much as the next irishman, but i'd like to keep my sense of sight, thank you very much.

iii. music

or the lack thereof. since renz had made off with my guitar at the last minute, both aforementioned sessions were lacking good background music. pogz convinced chudor and myself [mostly chudor, since i really don't need convincing] to stop by prov on the way home for a song or three. i unfortunately wasted my turn on some spanish song i didn't know, but since i'm not a "noob leaver la" i stuck with it and ended up getting a 96. not bad at all. renz' theft even proved beneficial in the end, since chudor and i suddenly found ourselves unwilling subjects to

iv. exercise

after midnight, it becomes notoriously difficult to find an express jeep from the edsa rotonda to bicutan. usually the kanan jeeps are bearable but last night, construction work created a jam spanning the west service road's entire length. after an hour of waiting and not moving ten feet from where we'd initially stopped, we decided to hoof it home. to give you an idea of how far we walked, we'd been camping directly under the jergen's lotion billboard near merville.

chudor: look on the bright side: we'll be really macho after this.
self: less talk, more walk.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:16 AM
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dante would be proud

in hell, every meal will consist of your favorite dishes, prepared wrongly by adventurous chefs. the underside of your feet will always be itchy and your neck will always be stiff. the only music you will hear is a massacre of your favorite song by an amateur band with vocal talents rivaling yael's. they will attempt the same song over and over, but never get past the first verse before starting over.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:30 PM
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just like the movies

i. revenge of the nauseating filmizations

the last installment in the star wars series of movies only served to remind me why i'm not a fan. on one hand, george lucas invents an entire universe, sparing no exotic name or location, no detailed history, nor pantheon of gods and heroes; on the other, he creates three exponentially bad movies for us to remember this universe by.

revenge of the sith is excruciating beyond words. bad acting, worse dialogue, and those supposedly nostalgic powerpoint-inspired scene transitions don't help matters at all. every time a fight scene came on, i was half-hoping to be hit by a photosensitive epileptic attack, ala pokémon. i was more engrossed reading up on star wars via wikipedia, for god's sake.

if you value your fandom, do not watch this movie. thank you.

ii. ooh shiny





the first picture is a cg rendition of jin from the tekken series of games, showcasing the graphical abilities of the ps3. impressive is an understatement - the first time i saw it, i thought it was a photoshopped photograph of a cosplayer. if anything, only the hair gave it away.

the second picture is of course a very gay-looking cloud strife, and is actually a still from the remake of final fantasy vii's intro movie, prepared by squaresoft for the same purpose. except that their contribution isn't an fmv - it's an in-game-graphics cutscene.

omgwtfbbq!

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:33 PM
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making a difference

i wonder if i could sell negative goods. maybe cookies. negative cookies. the customers will pay me and then they'll owe me cookies on top of it.

"that'll be a twenty, sir."
"here you go. um, where are my cookies?"
"oh no, sir, you bought negative cookies. i'll be here for the next two hours if you need some time to get 'em."
"huwat!?"

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 10:23 AM
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it's a small, small world

i'd been invited to a mid-week inuman by mari, the kapatid ng kinakapatid i'd mentioned in my last post. the celebration was in honor of his brother's birthday, so i arrived a good three hours late, to avoid the relatives and games [if any]. little did i realize how much the kid really gets around: there were 60-odd teen-aged guests, a good half of which were in various bands, six of which played that night, two of which were good. other notable guest appearances include:

a. the local yfc chapter, represented by twenty or so prepubescent girls and their child molester chaperone, emvin. i'd been wondering for quite some time what possessed him to join a religious organization. in hindsight, i should have remembered how it was back when i was still active.

b. various familiar faces from around the phase ix area. apparantly, we were all early childhood playmates, before we started our formal education. they're planning another grand reunion involving a river of alcohol and at least three guitars. phrased like that, how could i refuse?

c. j-john, rivermaya sessionist for the free album, who, with the help of a mamaw bassist and even more mamaw drummer, proceeded to wow the audience with 30 minutes of impromptu über-mamaw-ness. i think they were planning to stay longer, but at the aforementioned half-hour into their performance, a random drunk [namely, pj] staggered onstage to volunteer his mamaw vocal talents. needless to say, they weren't. good melody he came up with, though.

d. my good friend empirador brandy, whom i haven't seen for quite some time. still the backstabber, i see.

i got home around 2am, still woozy, but it was all good. i needed a break anyway. eight hours of boredom five days a week really fucks with your brain. you start hallucinating and thinking up all sorts of random shit.

like this:


sorry, chuds, couldn't resist.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:38 AM
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you know you're famous when

i. elevators try to kill you

i've never been a big fan of elevators. not to say that i wouldn't ride one [gladly, at that], but rather that i've always had a greater preference for escalators. the view is infinitely better, it's unlikely to kill you if something goes wrong, and it's faster when traveling short vertical distances.

i almost fell off an escalator once, but that was primarily my inherent stupidity. in my experience, elevators consistently offer more adventure. take, for example, the citibank building's six elevators, two of which have already expressed a deathwish against me:

the first one is for some reason swathed in dark-green cotton lining, prompting me to label it the "picture elevator". that is, until the day it decided to stop between two floors and shudder like a jackhammer with a heart condition. after that, i demoted it to "group coffin elevator". that particular elevator has been under repair ever since, but i know it's just biding its time. its doors remain open, welcoming, beckoning. it stares at me with its beady little lights. it's merely a question of when.

the second elevator tried a stealth attack, fouling up the displayed floor number. the panel read "current floor: 18, next stop: 13". not too out-of-the-ordinary, except for two things: first, i was on the ground floor; and second, citibank being feng shui-compatible, there is no 13th floor. luckily, i managed to leap out the suddenly-closing doors before they shut completely, preventing my untimely voyage to the non-existent floor, probably a portal to that level of hell reserved for makati businessmen.

clearly, these two are retribution for the time i was on the fourth floor of the dusit hotel, and activated all floors from ground to 17th. i'd thought that i was alone in the elevator, until i heard a horribly texan "what didja do that fowr?" issue from the rear of the box. i was so surprised at the sudden appearance of the six-foot-tall [and wide] 'kano that i just blurted out "i've always wanted to" before scampering out the [again] suddenly-closing door.

that was the moment i realized that elevators are part of a secret government agency determined to end my life via death, disappearance, embarassment, and psychosis. emphasis on that last method.

ii. you stand out in a crowd

i was standing outside the church, pretending to attend mass, when i was approached an old busmate of mine from high school days. or rather, he lasted about a year in zobel before moving on to greener pastures [namely anima christi, where he became acquainted with both kince and the tugas sisters, ex-zobelians all.

he was sporting a shoulder-length mop of hair, much like the one i had [past tense, take note] except parted at the side, which is probably why i didn't recognize him outright. he'd been a skinhead way back when. i'd thought that my appearance had changed significantly since we'd last met. i mean, i don't even resemble my college id picture anymore. maybe i walk funny or something.

we were an hour into conversation before realizing that neither one of us could recall the other's name. after hammering out that detail, the topic shifted to local acquaintances and it turns out he's the grandson of one of my neighbors in addition to being the brother of my mother's godson. go figure.

iii. you're on wikipedia

i'm not, so far, although i wouldn't mind an entry. it's the most culturally-updated body of knowledge i know, even holding information on such transient topics as dota, takeshi's castle, penny arcade, man-faye, and even the goatse man.

this write-up i wrote for myself to be included in the help file of the system i'm currently working on for pointwest should help, in case you're interested in immortalizing me [unlikely]:

Who designed this system?

The MLC was designed by Arun Singh, a third-year computer science student at the De La Salle University-Manila. He underwent on-the-job training at Pointwest Technologies Corporation from April to June, 2005.

Born June 14, 1985, he says that the best thing about being a Gemini is presents every six months, although the affinity for intellectual conversation doesn't hurt, either. Known for his quick wit and eye for adventure, he's not someone you'd want to antagonize, although his friends don't have it much better. His ideal woman would be a good cook, a better conversationalist, and definitely not barok.

He had a dog once but she died after being ironed out on the sidewalk by a water delivery truck. *Tear*

In his free time, he enjoys computer games, playing the acoustic and bass guitars, videoke, writing, and hard drinks. After college, he plans to sojourn to New Zealand, marry a milkmaid, and have a cow.

thanks in advance.

iv. you're a model and don't even know it

apparantly, i've been moonlighting as a model for royal elastics. now if only i actually got paid for it, tsk.

v. you have an internet-renown third blog detailing random thoughts and ideas for future literary works

not exactly internet-renown [nor do i wish it to be, actually] but the link's up there on the right, second from top.

since this section deviates from the overall post topic, now would be a good time to link to this story. oh, and behold the power of flash animation!

h8.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 9:10 AM
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the exuberence is insubstantial!

penny arcade.

it takes considerably less than eight hours to read through everything, given a good dsl connection.

trust me on that.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 3:05 PM
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two-faced: a comparative analysis of the language styles and psychological cues present in the writings of 77truthseeker and jesus_is_god810

i. case history

on monday, march 28, 2005, a weblog located at url http://www.livejournal.com/~77truthseeker was created by an anonymous male user with email address truthseeker7770@webtv.net [hereinafter referred to as "truthseeker"]. truthseeker gained notoriety by posting comments on random weblogs, in the name of christian evangelization. he claimed to be from the assemblies of god [aog], the primary church of the pentecostal movement. on tuesday, april 26, 2005, the weblog was brought to the researcher's attention by one yaps estagle. by saturday, april 30, 2005, after 19 comments as 3finger_salute and eight comments as godjesus_amen, truthseeker had stopped responding to the arguments and queries posed by the researcher and others of similarly sanguine temperaments.

on saturday, may 7, 2005, a comment was posted under the entry "excuses and facts 'bible' page", dated thursday, april 28, 2005 [this particular entry produced the most heated discussion, accumulating 138 comments as of today, tuesday, may 10, 2005]. said comment was by an anonymous user of unknown gender with no displayed email address, but with a weblog at url http://www.livejournal.com/~jesus_is_god810 [hereinafter referred to as "jesus_is_god"]. the comment was of an affirmative vein, leading the researcher to question the veracity of this new user as a separate entity from truthseeker.

ii. hypotheses

this paper poses four unique scenarios defining the relationship between truthseeker and jesus_is_god: the first, and most probable, scenario is that the two are one and the same, operating two weblog accounts; the second is that while jesus_is_god is not truthseeker, the two are not strangers to each other; the third is that the journal was created with the sole intent to mock truthseeker through sarcasm; and the fourth, least likely, scenario is that, as insisted upon by both parties, the two have had no previous acquaintance.

the researcher believes that the first scenario presented is most reflective of the actual truth. this paper, therefore, aims to present neutral truths inferred by the researcher from literary and psychological analyses of both personas' weblogs, in order to find evidence supporting said theory. the researcher hopes that the data gathered will be enough to suggest a final understanding of this interesting duality.

iii. discussion of the latter three hypotheses

in order to fully concentrate on the proofs for the primary hypothesis, the researcher must first demonstrate the relative improbabilities of other possible scenarios:

a. truthseeker and jesus_is_god are not strangers to each other

the immediate suspect for a weblog of such a similar nature is truthseeker's "wonderful godly filipina wife", mentioned in the entry "excuses and facts 'bible' page". the researcher does not believe this is so, based on the the assumption that truthseeker is caucasian [inferred from word choice, particular grammar problems, and minimal knowledge of the filipino language]. and if truthseeker, then, is caucasian, it is unlikely that the aforementioned wife will possess enough technological knowledge to set up and operate a weblog. history typifies the breed of 'exotic' woman favored by caucasians as either being a maria clara or the equivalent of a blonde cheerleader.

with the wife scenario ruled out, it is unlikely that another person exists with whom truthseeker would have proximity to the degree necessary to influence thought and style. a child would have neither the biblical familiarity nor a desire for independence; if jesus_is_god was truthseeker's progeny, the entries would focus on defending his or her father, rather than embarking on his or her own mission of evangelization.

b. the journal is a mock-up

only one entry is present on jesus_is_god's weblog, which is a reasonable effort for a feint. however, his lengthy and surprisingly coherent responses to his readers' comments are not. as well, if the aforementioned entry and comments are viewed in a fraudulent light [which in itself is a difficult task], the sarcasm is too subtle to be effective. in totality, jesus_is_god puts too much into the weblog for it to be anything but sincere.

c. truthseeker and jesus_is_god really are two different people

the only evidence supporting this theory is the following statement by jesus_is_god: I am another person; 77truthseeker and I are different people and im so glad while im searching a username here I've found a christian just like me. statistics and observation dictate otherwise.

iv. linguistics

readers of a simpler nature may find it difficult to think of truthseeker and jesus_is_god as one and the same, due to the difference in their narrative approach. truthseeker is of a more assertive, domineering nature, to the point of threatening readers with "fire and brimestone" [sic]. jesus_is_god, one the other hand, presents entries appealing to the readers' aesthetics, and elaborates on his ideas in a calmer, more logical, manner. and yet, there are linguistic mannerisms indigenous to both writers' posts, which are too consistent to be coincidental:

a. capitalization of 'important' words

weblog entries written by both users feature words of religious significance fully capitalized, i.e.: god, jesus, hell, amen, salvation, repent, and word. other words or statements may be enclosed in quotation marks, possibly for clarification or emphasis, i.e.: For whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD"JESUS" shall be saved"from HELL" [truthseeker], He cannot stay where there is "SIN" [jesus_is_god].

b. similar syntax of grammatical errors

most grammatical errors are due to incorrect verb tense, i.e.: You see I am concern for the lost people [truthseeker], A friend who never leave you [jesus_is_god].

c. terms of endearment

truthseeker refers to jesus_is_god as "my sweet friend", and jesus_is_god refers to truthseeker as "my good friend". the researcher felt that he should mention such.

v. profiling

this actually the facet which presents the more convincing arguments. the researcher here attempts to reconstruct the creation of jesus_is_god's weblog, based on the assumption that he is indeed truthseeker. if a logical and probable chain of events can be formed, this can then be considered as proof of the hypothesis' veracity.

a. dates

from saturday, april 30, 2005 to wednesday, may 3, 2005, truthseeker neither updated his weblog nor replied to the many comments his entries attracted. jesus_is_god's weblog was created at 8pm on april 30, 2005 and the first entry was posted sunday, may 1, 2005. this first entry reveals that jesus_is_god is already aware of truthseeker's online presence. comments started appearing on post on wednesday, may 4, 2005. on saturday, may 7, 2005, jesus_is_god first made contact with truthseeker at 2am, and truthseeker responded twice between 11am and 11:15am, once in his own journal and once in jesus_is_god's. on monday, may 9, 2005, truthseeker posted a new entry detailing "a change in direction for this journal".

b. logistics

it is interesting to note that the weblog belonging to jesus_is_god is rather sparse, compared to truthseeker's. focusing on the user information, jesus_is_god does not even have an email address. the researcher feels that he goes to great lengths to maintain his anonymity.

birthdates provide another interesting insight. truthseeker has his birthday listed as july 7, 1970, or 07-07-70. this is an obvious reference to god's number, seven, which also appears in truthseeker's username, 77truthseeker, and in his email address truthseeker7770@webtv.net. jesus_is_god, on the other hand has his birthdate listed as august 10, 1980, or 08-10-80. the researcher believes that this number is a thinly-veiled follow-up to truthseeker's personal information. since the first birthdate is obviously contrived, it is reasonable to believe that the second is, as well. thus we have 888 to follow 777. the middle digit was increased to a 10 to diminish suspicion, then appended to jesus_is_god's username, jesus_is_god810, in the same vein as truthseeker.

the two accounts also have the websites yourgoingtohell.com and answersingenesis.com or answeringenesis.com [both dead links] as common interests.

and finally, the username jesus_is_god chose reflects a specific motivation, which is forceful compared to the manner in which his entries play themselves out. this may stem from an account created in haste, or under emotional stress, but with entries created at leisure, or at a time of emotional calm.

vi. conclusion

having systematically gone through commonalities and disparities, the researcher takes as his final conclusion that truthseeker and jesus_is_god are one person with two weblog accounts. the idea that two separate, independent weblogs with the same writing style and severe verbal tics exist as such defy probability. the fact that truthseeker had nobody to back him up may have inspired him to fabricate an ally, who would not only serve as a second, positive, opinion, but by handling a different set of disgruntled readers, the damage is halved, and the offense is doubled. case closed.

amen.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:36 AM
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pointwest outing

we were invited to participate in our company's annual team-building outing held in the 8 waves resort, bulacan. although as a whole it remained, as one ojt-er remarked, a "pointless outing", a few salient moments are worth mentioning:

i. breakfast of champions

i woke up at 4:30 in order to leave the house at 5:30 and arrive at 6am, which gave me 30 minutes to enjoy a couple of jollibee's breakfast sausage burger thingees. unfortunately, they were out of stock so i had to order a rice-and-corned-beef combo instead.

moral lesson: don't.

ii. let's get retarded

as if the tuxedo wasn't inane enough, the people at the front of the bus switched to dora the explorer to 'entertain' the kids on board. words cannot express the extent of cerebral damage dished out by its sinister scriptwriters. in the last 15 minutes before i finally lost consciousness, i witnessed dora and that rat-ass monkey of hers help king "i love to swing" bobo [not kidding, that was his name] locate his crown in a patch of santan, stop swiper the fox from stealing it by shouting out "swiper stop swiping!" four times in a row, disable killer turkeys with the 'funny' word "bananapants", open a gate by stomping on a triangular rock, figure out that one must run through a timed sprinkler to cross it without getting drenched, scare off crocodiles by imitating their snapping jaws with his forearms, and open a second gate with five buttons, this time by pressing the said buttons one by one [no fucking duh].

moral lesson: don't buy a tv; instead, download reruns of takeshi's castle and the crystal maze for your kids to watch.

iii. what's in a name

all employees [and trainees] were divided into three groups for the team-building exercises. my team called itself "the champions". driven by this warcry, we won the first two events easy. then we lost the next three to the same group, earning us a second-place finish.

moral lesson: "the champions" is only a good name if you win. otherwise, it's jologs.

iv. eight-wave workout

being of the adventurous sort, us ojt-ers stuck mostly to the wave pool, which is subject to 20 or so waves every two minutes. the waves add between a foot and two to the slowly sloping depth, and drowning is avoided by jumping just before the crests hit you. most of the day was spent here, discussing either the theories behind the wave system time or the possibility that 8 waves will market said pool as an aerobics facility. to wit:

time theory one: the pool is battery operated and runs down every two minutes, at which point an employee runs out to the nearest 7-11 to buy new ones.

time theory two: the pool is batter operated and runs down every two minutes, at which point an employee has to replace all 1024 d-sized batteries.

possible voiceover from aerobics system: "ok girls, remember, it's 'step, step, step, jump'. if you miss a beat, you die!"

moral lesson: chlorine is as good an intoxicant as alcohol.

v. sun-worship

the pool's floor wasn't tiled, and therefore proved hazardous to any body part not buffered by clothing. since i [like most people] was clad only in a pair of trunks, this made sunbathing on the 'shore' lethal regardless of whether i was facing up or down. most of the time, a wave would crash over us, ramming a shoulder blade, heel, elbow, knee, or pectoral into the sandpaperish flooring. my battle plan for avoiding this was sitting up everytime the waves started up, effectively darkening only the right side of my face and body.

moral lesson: i tan like lechon baboy.

vi. videoke

of course, no outing is complete without my favorite social pasttime. most of the machines were already reserved by other groups on their vacations, so it was with some difficulty that we were able to locate the last free-for-all machine. we spent the first thirty minutes throwing dirty looks at the patrons until they left, but by that time, we only had time for two or three songs apiece. i was already paos from all the shouting in the wave pool, so i didn't do so well. nothing embarassing, just a 93 and an 88.

moral lesson: the more you bark, the less you can sing afterwards.

vii. kiss of the dragon

i was a bit disappointed after watching this movie. too many loose ends. the diplomatic repercussions of the protagonist and antagonist's actions are lost as the international affair dwindles down to a vendetta resolved in a western-style showdown. if the problem's big enough for interpol to be involved, i think that threat of war, or at least footage of mass military movements, should be made evident.

moral lesson: jet li has a crater on the end of his nose.

viii. top one sign that life hates you

i have a friend, let's call him "paco", and he's in a bit of an awkward situation with a girl, who i shall refer to as "tala". the aforementioned friend and i regularly pass by said girl's apartment on the way home everyday. except this time, just as "paco" and i were conversing about "tala" and her boyfriend "nix" in none-too-hushed voices, the pair magically appear four feet in front of us. then it starts to rain.

moral lesson: it can always get worse.

ix. inspired

by the unusual twist of fate, "paco" immediately hit upon the lyrics to a song he hopes to present to metallica, in order for them to have a song not about being so goth that you sell out.

B......D.E.   B......D.E.
       fluffy bunny  happy
B......         D.E.  D.B.A#.A.E.D.A.A#.B
birthday you're legal now               yeah!

yeah!

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:46 PM
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happy tuna day!

that's all.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 7:53 AM
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sa guijo

by some act of god, we arrived 30 minutes early, despite not having clearer directions than "basta sa may makati 'yun." compare and contrast this with last year's "doon [points skyward] sa amoranto!" fiasco. ran into kat and bugie, who were there to see sago.





when it got too hot for pictures, we just left, went to the nearest sari-sari store, and drank lalabu under the makati skyline. it's only illegal if you get caught, y'know.

lourd and company were 'making tambay' at said sari-sari store. he was wearing a green shirt. not blue, not yellow. green. his next piece will probably be about four drunken pa-cool jologs teenagers. fyi, i'll only be a teenager for two more months. take that, lourd.

props to trish for bringing out my inner bohemyo.

beng calma > *

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 11:44 AM
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spot the difference

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 3:59 PM
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