"brilliant!" indeed

i wasn't planning on posting this quiz result [the write-up was good enough but the picture left much to be desired], until i noticed that the site was displaying a little more intelligence than was comfortable:



a porn site that knows your address - can't get more convenient than that. next thing you know, they'll be snail-mailing you free samples.

truly arcane.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:13 AM
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kage bunshin no jitsu?

it has just occurred to me that there are an uncanny number of similarities between michael jackson and orochimaru. to wit:

an undead-inspired facial build: hair well below the shoulders, borderline-albino complexions, reptilian noses, and bumper-sized cheekbones.

a mastery of high-pitched sounds that hamper the opponent's capacity to fight back.

a manic desire to outdo their already blatant fruitiness via wardrobe design [michael jackson has that vincent-esque millenium soldier thing going for him, which orochimaru matches with his pretzel-backed yellow-and-purple number].

alleged pedophilic tendencies, although one admits to sleeping with them, while the other plans on wearing them.

periodic use of the fushi tensei [literally, "living corpse reincarnation"] to maintain and improve on their unique looks, although michael jackson is visibly less skilled at it than orochimaru.

slander aside, and for those who have no interest in the naruto series, here's a forensic cg rendition of what michael jackson would've looked like today sans alterations.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:10 PM
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famous last words

i've noticed that kenley has recently been using a number of interesting one-liners as his ym status messages. they were sourced from this site, evidently. my favorites are in the "questions?" and "error messages in haiku" sections.

just sharing.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 7:48 PM
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education in the philippines

i. mathematics

self: sorry mejo distracted ako kanina. nakuha mo ba txt ko?

pogz: nag reply ako.. sabi ko break na tayo! inisnob mo ko kanina..

self: sabi ko naman ieexplain ko mamaya kung bakit
self: anyway
self: eto yung exciting story:
self: diba may kausap ako sa phone kanina?

pogz: o?

self: sabi nya yung bass ko na pinahiram ko last week nasa condo nya
self: sa 2107 burgandy
self: e kelangan ko yung bass
self: sabi nya katukan ko daw roommate nya para makuha ko yung bass
self: ang problema
self: brownout
self: walang elevators
self: kaya mejo distracted ako, kinacalculate ko kung kaya ng powers ko yung tahak papuntang 21st floor at pababa

pogz: ok..

self: 46 floors din yun
self: pag baba ko nangangatog na tuhod ko
self: nagpedicab ako papuntang mcdo hahaha

pogz: wala namang effort ang pag baba eh

self: sabagay
self: pero 23 floors din yun paakyat, including mezzanine and ground
self: isa pa yun, di ko alam kung bakit kelangan may 2 floors bago first floor ng burgandy

pogz: parking

self: no i mean the ground floor is the "mezzanine" tapos yung second floor yung "ground" tapos floors 1 to 7 are parking
self: so bale floors 3 to 9 yung parking

pogz: thats so gay
pogz: maybe they dont know how to count

self: inis na inis nga ako
self: nagbilang ako ng 21 floors kasi walang floor numbers sa stairwell, tapos paglabas ko yung unit numbers 19xx
self: sabay pagdating ko sa totoong 21st floor gumana ulit yung elevators
self: sabay pagkakuha ko ng bass ko namatay ulit
self: wtf

ii. political science

paco: Pucha offline pa rin PvPGN.
paco: Hirap naman paniwalaang power outage lang yan.

self: kanina brownout sa bahay
self: pagpasok ko ng school brownout din
self: sabi ng kapatid brownout din sa zobel

paco: Oo, brownout kanina dito.
paco: Pero sandali lang.
paco: Mga 2 hours.
paco: Yung server getting on 4, maybe 5, and still going strong.
paco: Baka form of 'muscling' ni GMA to.

self: damn you gloria why must you do the one thing that actually affects us!?

paco: Lupit niya no?
paco: Grabe talaga pare.

self: magaling ang hinire nyang social analysts this time. damn that woman

paco: Shhh... Ako yun... I'll give you a cut of the money tomorrow...

self: hahaha just turn the server back on and we're square

iii. biology

self: you will not believe what i stumbled on in wikipedia

chudor: ano?

self: it's a study on how anal stretching is damaging to the body
self: so i started with halle berry
self: then went to catwoman
self: then went to worst movies of the last 25 years
self: then went to alexander
self: then went to homosexuality
self: then clicked on an external link

chudor: wow

self: and i ended up here:
self: PURPOSE: This study was undertaken to investigate the effects of anal stretching on anal pressures and damage to the external anal sphincter.
self: METHODS: This study was performed on 37 guinea pigs. Animals were divided into three groups: control group, quick stretching group, and continuous overstretching group.
self: kawawang guinea pigs
self: hahahaha

chudor: so...surprise butt sex is bad for your partner

self: hahahahahaha
self: i'll post this on my blog
self: ganda pa ng reaction mo
self: i'll include that

chudor: pakshet
chudor: hehe
chudor: ill just say it was the hero drink talking

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 9:08 PM
comments (2)

whistling in the dark

before i proceed to the actual content of this entry, i really must pause to contemplate the sudden peculiarity i perceive concerning the spelling of this post's title. although microsoft word assures me that no errors have been committed, i can't help but think that the word "whistling" shouldn't look the way it sounds, both literally and figuratively. it would probably make a good title for a novel or film, though.

anyway, last thursday's filipi2 class proved to be a interesting study on how man's cleverness leads to his own undoing. the 35 of us were divided into five groups, with each member being required to be that group's representative in one of seven consecutive panel discussions. after the recitation, each panelist would rate his or her peers from one to four [one being highest], meaning that one's group's grade would be the average of the other four groups' opinions.

thinking ahead, i realized that in order for my group to achieve an above-average grade despite our average academic talents, we needed to compromise the other groups' standings. therefore, if we were to give a four to the group deserving a one, and vice versa, the averages would middle out, giving us a relatively higher score.

i suppose i shouldn't have been surprised when the results from the first panel discussion revealed that the undeniably worst speaker had garnered a unanimous vote of one. nor should i have been surprised when, six iterations and a solid two average later, one of our more spirited group members chanced upon genius, and was rewarded with a quartet of fours.

the moral of the story? evidently, it's not underhanded if everyone does it.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 3:44 PM
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pinoy nga

i had been of the opinion that opm was once again clawing its way uphill, but the most recent in the rash of controversial locally-composed songs marred by rumors of dubious originality has finally shaken that certainty.

a quick comparison between orange and lemons' catchy pinoy big brother theme, pinoy ako and the care's chandeliers reveals more than an uncanny resemblance: chord progression, drums, bassline, and verse melody are virtually identical; even the lead guitar borrows heavily from the violins. the only major difference is the absence of a bridge in the original. i'll cut orange and lemons that much slack.

not that i find anything wrong in using pre-existing music as inspiration or even as a peg for original compositions, but i draw the line at denying blatantly obvious similarities. the challenge in covering a song is not in masking its true authors, but in exceeding them. those who can't, simply shouldn't.

i won't discuss the repercussions of this discovery in terms of the song's content. shame is plentiful enough without my having to dissect every hypocrisy the lyrics now paint. but what i feel i must expound on is the apathy or even stubbornness still exhibited by those in the know. "i dont care if its similar basta gusto ko ang song 'Pinoy Ako'", one discussion contributor even affirmed. sadly, people will time and again follow what's popular, not what's ethical.

with such a mindset demonstrated by both performers and listeners, what's there to be proud of?

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 12:15 AM
comments (2)

at last, something truly blogworthy!

or not.

but since you're here, did you know that windows xp refuses to rename a folder to "con", "aux" or any string from "com0" to "com9"? those are [obviously] examples of system-reserved words, harking back to the ms-dos 3.0 days.

as if that were actually interesting.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:59 AM
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unicorn power

bella was kind enough to burn me a copy of the last unicorn, that cartoon movie from the 80s. as with all childhood fragments revisited, it was decidedly less awe-inspiring this time around, although the red bull and mommy fortuna's hat were both just as impressive as they were 10 years ago.

in hindsight, it was probably the ultra-mushy soundtrack that did me in. a musical's only good if you see it before your auditory tastes evolve completely. i recommend reading the book instead - it has twice the wit and a dash more wonder.

the comic that accompanies this post was yanked from the perry bible fellowship archives. i recommend reading through that as well.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 10:43 PM
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karma alert

we lost by two points, for the second time. jeez, as if once wasn't bad enough. i suppose that we did deserve it, if you think about it. first off, we won the championship last year with one-upping ateneo as our primary motivation; feu was a civilian casualty. second, their record is decidedly better than la salle's this season. and third, there was that nasty business involving a fist to arwind santos' nape. for once, life is fair.

not that i particularly care about the 'honor' of being champion; i'm after the free food and cuts. some of my more animated friends will affirm that it doesn't matter if we're second to the last, as long as a certain blue institution is behind us.

while i'm on the subject of justice [or lack thereof], i musn't forget to relate certain unfortunate events that befell martin and myself last night. since this post is titled as such, it is safe to assume that the situation arose out of retribution for some evil [some would say "amusing", others would say "tongue-in-cheek", still others, "childish"] deeds on our part.

take note that ours was a sin of omission, not action - that blame belongs to reggie, who last i heard had his own share of tragedy. as for us, this is what happened:

around 920, martin and i were at vito cruz station, awaiting a southbound train. we passed the time by relating our respective adventures involving the various local public transport systems. by 9:50, we realized that our quips about the unreliability of the lrt had proved more portentuous than hilarious.

waiting was no big deal, really, except that the loudspeaker situated directly above us just then decided to soothe our frazzled nerves with a constant blast of ear-splitting feedback. by 10, we had stopped joking about subliminal messages, having lost our audience, who were either clumped around the exit stiles, or convulsing on the floor.

in a cruel twist of fate, it was discovered that one mayn't use one's ticket to exit at the same station one had purchased it from; the machine would reject it, and instruct the by-then-mostly-deaf patron to badger the station manager instead. said manager would then refuse a refund, stating that technically the trains were still in operation; instead, one had to give up one's ticket, and exit via the swing gate.

the problem here was that martin had used a prepaid card to enter, and was rather loathe to give up the 70 or so pesos left unspent. i bravely asserted my willingness to wait it out, if needed. our resolve lasted two more minutes.

arriving home at 1130, my mother inquired the reason for my unexpected tardiness. i replied that she wouldn't believe me if i told her.

as expected, she didn't.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:55 PM
comments (3)

serendipity

while blogsurfing, i came across this online quiz. the page that loads when you click on "view all possible results" will shock and amaze.

for the record, i got head-banging.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 8:57 PM
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e non se vero, e ben trovato

the other day i saw a sticker for some automobile parts supplier with the slogan "proudly germany-made!". seeing that it was a slogan [there were quotation marks and everything], i got to thinking about the veracity of said statement. if we stop to think about it, slogans aren't supposed to be taken literally. you can't sue the pringles corporation if you stop popping, any more than you could kfc, if your fingers taste like kitty litter.

so is there a guarantee that the parts were indeed manufactured half a world away, or is it about as real as booking a trip to marlboro country?

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:54 PM
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you think of one

hey rej.

how've you been?

don't bother asking how i am; i'll just say "same old" even if only the second word is true. sorry if i haven't been up to date on what you've been up to. communication is rather difficult, you know.

i just heard that they got him. yeah, i know. it's kinda pointless. what's done is done. you're obviously not coming back, either way.

a lot's been happening down here, aside from what makes the evening news. it'll probably be a few years before we meet again, so we'll probably have a chika century or something.

this is the part where you ask how sure am i that we'll still see each other, and i retort that god doesn't have to know.

alright, alright. you never liked my jokes anyway. but let's face it - i'm no saint, after all. if i am going to hell, i'd appreciate it if he'd tell me in advance, so i can at least pop a few caps before i go.

honestly, i'm tired. run down and let down. can you sleep after death? i could use a nap.

"ingat" seems rather futile now.

whatever. 
posted by stani at 12:15 AM
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kawaii

for those of you curious about what my malate friends look like, you can check out these renditions by timmy, tim, and bella.

from top to bottom: timmy, tim, tq, soyster, ron, ron again [hmm...], rizza, reggie, martin, martin again [hmm...], chris, bong, me, me again [well...], and aj.

there's a second batch hidden somewhere within the pages of the malate logbook. i'll try to dig it up.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 1:16 PM
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warning: disturbing thoughts follow

bad: you catch your son watching porno.
worse: his sister's in it.
worst: with your wife.

well i did warn you.

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 7:12 PM
comments (1)