[busy signaL]
[Wednesday, May 18, 2005]
i. elevators try to kill you
i've never been a big fan of elevators. not to say that i wouldn't ride one [gladly, at that], but rather that i've always had a greater preference for escalators. the view is infinitely better, it's unlikely to kill you if something goes wrong, and it's faster when traveling short vertical distances.
i almost fell off an escalator once, but that was primarily my inherent stupidity. in my experience, elevators consistently offer more adventure. take, for example, the citibank building's six elevators, two of which have already expressed a deathwish against me:
the first one is for some reason swathed in dark-green cotton lining, prompting me to label it the "picture elevator". that is, until the day it decided to stop between two floors and shudder like a jackhammer with a heart condition. after that, i demoted it to "group coffin elevator". that particular elevator has been under repair ever since, but i know it's just biding its time. its doors remain open, welcoming, beckoning. it stares at me with its beady little lights. it's merely a question of when.
the second elevator tried a stealth attack, fouling up the displayed floor number. the panel read "current floor: 18, next stop: 13". not too out-of-the-ordinary, except for two things: first, i was on the ground floor; and second, citibank being feng shui-compatible, there is no 13th floor. luckily, i managed to leap out the suddenly-closing doors before they shut completely, preventing my untimely voyage to the non-existent floor, probably a portal to that level of hell reserved for makati businessmen.
clearly, these two are retribution for the time i was on the fourth floor of the dusit hotel, and activated all floors from ground to 17th. i'd thought that i was alone in the elevator, until i heard a horribly texan "what didja do that fowr?" issue from the rear of the box. i was so surprised at the sudden appearance of the six-foot-tall [and wide] 'kano that i just blurted out "i've always wanted to" before scampering out the [again] suddenly-closing door.
that was the moment i realized that elevators are part of a secret government agency determined to end my life via death, disappearance, embarassment, and psychosis. emphasis on that last method.
ii. you stand out in a crowd
i was standing outside the church, pretending to attend mass, when i was approached an old busmate of mine from high school days. or rather, he lasted about a year in zobel before moving on to greener pastures [namely anima christi, where he became acquainted with both kince and the tugas sisters, ex-zobelians all.
he was sporting a shoulder-length mop of hair, much like the one i had [past tense, take note] except parted at the side, which is probably why i didn't recognize him outright. he'd been a skinhead way back when. i'd thought that my appearance had changed significantly since we'd last met. i mean, i don't even resemble my college id picture anymore. maybe i walk funny or something.
we were an hour into conversation before realizing that neither one of us could recall the other's name. after hammering out that detail, the topic shifted to local acquaintances and it turns out he's the grandson of one of my neighbors in addition to being the brother of my mother's godson. go figure.
iii. you're on wikipedia
i'm not, so far, although i wouldn't mind an entry. it's the most culturally-updated body of knowledge i know, even holding information on such transient topics as dota, takeshi's castle, penny arcade, man-faye, and even the goatse man.
this write-up i wrote for myself to be included in the help file of the system i'm currently working on for pointwest should help, in case you're interested in immortalizing me [unlikely]:
Who designed this system?
The MLC was designed by Arun Singh, a third-year computer science student at the De La Salle University-Manila. He underwent on-the-job training at Pointwest Technologies Corporation from April to June, 2005.
Born June 14, 1985, he says that the best thing about being a Gemini is presents every six months, although the affinity for intellectual conversation doesn't hurt, either. Known for his quick wit and eye for adventure, he's not someone you'd want to antagonize, although his friends don't have it much better. His ideal woman would be a good cook, a better conversationalist, and definitely not barok.
He had a dog once but she died after being ironed out on the sidewalk by a water delivery truck. *Tear*
In his free time, he enjoys computer games, playing the acoustic and bass guitars, videoke, writing, and hard drinks. After college, he plans to sojourn to New Zealand, marry a milkmaid, and have a cow.
thanks in advance.
iv. you're a model and don't even know it
apparantly, i've been moonlighting as a model for royal elastics. now if only i actually got paid for it, tsk.
v. you have an internet-renown third blog detailing random thoughts and ideas for future literary works
not exactly internet-renown [nor do i wish it to be, actually] but the link's up there on the right, second from top.
since this section deviates from the overall post topic, now would be a good time to link to this story. oh, and behold the power of flash animation!
h8.
sige ingat.ΓΌ
posted by stani at 9:10 AM
i've never been a big fan of elevators. not to say that i wouldn't ride one [gladly, at that], but rather that i've always had a greater preference for escalators. the view is infinitely better, it's unlikely to kill you if something goes wrong, and it's faster when traveling short vertical distances.
i almost fell off an escalator once, but that was primarily my inherent stupidity. in my experience, elevators consistently offer more adventure. take, for example, the citibank building's six elevators, two of which have already expressed a deathwish against me:
the first one is for some reason swathed in dark-green cotton lining, prompting me to label it the "picture elevator". that is, until the day it decided to stop between two floors and shudder like a jackhammer with a heart condition. after that, i demoted it to "group coffin elevator". that particular elevator has been under repair ever since, but i know it's just biding its time. its doors remain open, welcoming, beckoning. it stares at me with its beady little lights. it's merely a question of when.
the second elevator tried a stealth attack, fouling up the displayed floor number. the panel read "current floor: 18, next stop: 13". not too out-of-the-ordinary, except for two things: first, i was on the ground floor; and second, citibank being feng shui-compatible, there is no 13th floor. luckily, i managed to leap out the suddenly-closing doors before they shut completely, preventing my untimely voyage to the non-existent floor, probably a portal to that level of hell reserved for makati businessmen.
clearly, these two are retribution for the time i was on the fourth floor of the dusit hotel, and activated all floors from ground to 17th. i'd thought that i was alone in the elevator, until i heard a horribly texan "what didja do that fowr?" issue from the rear of the box. i was so surprised at the sudden appearance of the six-foot-tall [and wide] 'kano that i just blurted out "i've always wanted to" before scampering out the [again] suddenly-closing door.
that was the moment i realized that elevators are part of a secret government agency determined to end my life via death, disappearance, embarassment, and psychosis. emphasis on that last method.
ii. you stand out in a crowd
i was standing outside the church, pretending to attend mass, when i was approached an old busmate of mine from high school days. or rather, he lasted about a year in zobel before moving on to greener pastures [namely anima christi, where he became acquainted with both kince and the tugas sisters, ex-zobelians all.
he was sporting a shoulder-length mop of hair, much like the one i had [past tense, take note] except parted at the side, which is probably why i didn't recognize him outright. he'd been a skinhead way back when. i'd thought that my appearance had changed significantly since we'd last met. i mean, i don't even resemble my college id picture anymore. maybe i walk funny or something.
we were an hour into conversation before realizing that neither one of us could recall the other's name. after hammering out that detail, the topic shifted to local acquaintances and it turns out he's the grandson of one of my neighbors in addition to being the brother of my mother's godson. go figure.
iii. you're on wikipedia
i'm not, so far, although i wouldn't mind an entry. it's the most culturally-updated body of knowledge i know, even holding information on such transient topics as dota, takeshi's castle, penny arcade, man-faye, and even the goatse man.
this write-up i wrote for myself to be included in the help file of the system i'm currently working on for pointwest should help, in case you're interested in immortalizing me [unlikely]:
Who designed this system?
The MLC was designed by Arun Singh, a third-year computer science student at the De La Salle University-Manila. He underwent on-the-job training at Pointwest Technologies Corporation from April to June, 2005.
Born June 14, 1985, he says that the best thing about being a Gemini is presents every six months, although the affinity for intellectual conversation doesn't hurt, either. Known for his quick wit and eye for adventure, he's not someone you'd want to antagonize, although his friends don't have it much better. His ideal woman would be a good cook, a better conversationalist, and definitely not barok.
He had a dog once but she died after being ironed out on the sidewalk by a water delivery truck. *Tear*
In his free time, he enjoys computer games, playing the acoustic and bass guitars, videoke, writing, and hard drinks. After college, he plans to sojourn to New Zealand, marry a milkmaid, and have a cow.
thanks in advance.
iv. you're a model and don't even know it
apparantly, i've been moonlighting as a model for royal elastics. now if only i actually got paid for it, tsk.
v. you have an internet-renown third blog detailing random thoughts and ideas for future literary works
not exactly internet-renown [nor do i wish it to be, actually] but the link's up there on the right, second from top.
since this section deviates from the overall post topic, now would be a good time to link to this story. oh, and behold the power of flash animation!
h8.
sige ingat.ΓΌ
posted by stani at 9:10 AM