love, actually

i had lunch with my friend jil last friday. over donuts and iced tea at cello's, she questioned my decision to remain single until i start working [by choice, i assure you]. i simply told her that i was happy with my current priorities [writing, dota, music, friends, drinking] and that i had no time for any further frivolities. she then said that i'd make time.

well of course i'd make time. that's the way experience works - in order to reach for new rungs in life, you have to step off old ones. the fact remains, though, that i have no desire to do so. unfortunately i didn't put it as eloquently the first retort around [i seem to recall using the 'd' word], which prompted her to diagnose me with a fear of commitment.

wow, like i hadn't heard that before. but why wouldn't a man be afraid of commitment? worst case scenario, it's too easy for a woman to marry, divorce, collect alimony, remarry, divorce, collect more alimony, ad infinitum. she can say "he was a jerk" and receive emotional support from her friends. that and all the money she's getting alleviates her guilt. and the captain? going down with the ship, sunk by debt, a broken heart, and a crushed ego.

it comes as no suprise to me that men are more hesitant to enter marriage than women. what is marriage, anyway? love and sex aside, marriage for women is security. if prince charming isn't quite so, so what? you're not the one spending for him. marriage for men is double the bills, and fhm with all the pictures cut out. if the princess is a royal pain, you're on the executioner's block and she lives happily ever after with the next hapless chap who rescues the dragon by mistake.

and all this from just the financial point of view. what about the emotional baggage? although women outnumber men four is to one, a ruthless woman would have a much easier time finding her next victim than one would think. it all boils down to this: it's much easier to make a man fall in love with a woman than to make said woman fall in love with a man. flattery and a good set of thighs are often all it takes. and what happens when the dream desintigrates? she cries, eats ice cream, and moves on. he drinks, wakes up with a hangover that never quite goes away, and sulks for a year and a half. for a woman, first love never dies; for a man, all love never dies.

not to say that all women are harpies, or that all men are accountants, but rather that one shouldn't be goaded into a long-term relationship by teasing friends if one dislikes the idea. end of story.

it is impossibe to love and to be wise. - francis bacon

many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl. - stephen leacock

a man in love is not complete until he is married; then, he is finished. - zsa zsa gabor

sige ingat.ü 
posted by stani at 6:55 AM